Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Waiting, and Waiting, and Waiting: Enjoy the Journey!

TIME: I don't even know what it is anymore. It's gone by fast when I think of the fact that 2015 is gone and we are halfway through the first month of 2016. Yet I feel like it could still possibly be 2014 (partly kidding). Infrequently does it seem that it's also crept by like a slug or a turtle or whatever could possibly be slower. I can't even believe the words "two years" when it comes out of my mouth and I think of the first adoption application we sent in. Nonetheless, there's been a lot of waiting, a lot of praying, and A LOT of living.

That's one thing I've never read in books. What in the world do you do in the meantime? My simple response: keep on living. Because there will be times you may find yourself sitting and waiting. You will sit and wait and do nothing but that. It's easy to get caught up in it. Your mind will play games with you and more than once or seven times..."maybe this is a sign, maybe this will be the week, maybe after I do this or that they will call us for a referral of our child." And then it doesn't happen.
Trust me, just when you think you've waiting long enough and you tell yourself you are the most patience human being on this planet, you will all of a sudden feel like you're unlearning how to wait and unlearning how to be patient. Then you seem like you've become the most impatient human being and have no ability to wait for anything. I only partly joke.

Let me tell you, there will be times that seem even harder. Your heart will seem as though it's seriously aching. It will ache for your desire of this child. It will ache for the grief the child will experience when you take them from what they only knew. And at some point, your heart will ache for his/her biological mother and the loss, the grief, and the situation she may have been in. I'm no expert on adoption, but I like to think this is a normal feeling. And with anything in life, it will all be ok.

For me, the holidays this year were a bit of a struggle. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the time with family and friends. BUT, selfishly I wanted it to be the time of our call. I wanted to have whoever this child may be in our home. I wanted he or she to experience their first Christmas with us. That timing, for whatever reason, was not meant to be. And all of that, it's ok. My faith has grown so strong that what I know is that the time of the call will be the best time. Whenever that best time is, we can't wait to see how it unfolds itself. That that will be his/her story, that will be our journey to our child, and that will be the time we become a family. 

So, enjoy the journey. Travel, have weekly dinners with family and friends, take on new experiences, read more books, learn a new trick, love your spouse every day, and never give up faith. Whatever you do, don't let the waiting eat you up. There's more to life then sitting around waiting until the next journey in your life happens! 

To all you adoptive Mamas and Dads, if you have suggestions for all those waiting for that call, fun experiences you had during your waiting journey, books you read, or any such ideas please share your wealth of knowledge!